The man I love wants to, once again, for another year, NOT get a biopsy. My answer is NO. No.
I have stood by him and he by me as we lived our lives together for 7 years. More downs than ups, we proved we can do that. So, my answer is NO. Fuck you. I will NOT allow you to go out with a whimper, by ignoring something until it's too late.
I have had cancerous cells frozen off my cervix, twice. I've had a hysterectomy when my uterus betrayed me and tried to kill me. Though, truly, I can't blame it, it was TIRED after five kids. I had a biopsy on a lump in my breast. Was I scared? Yes. Did I WANT to ignore it? Yes. Did I do it anyway? Yes. I expect the same from him. I EXPECT it, WANT it, DEMAND it. I will not stand idly by so he can die on me. I will NOT.
It might be nothing. Just................some reaction to smoking for 40 years. But, if it isn't..................I want to know. I want to gird myself for a fight. I want to DO something, anything. I had my tests, got the bad news, had my organs removed to stay alive. I DID that. I have no reproductive organs, I lost a lot of me in that decision. But, I gained life, life lived with the ones I love. It was worth it. I didn't like it, I was scared, but I'd do it again.
How do I make him do the same? How do I DO that? He's stubborn, kind of a given since he's spending his life with me, but...............how do I be what he needs, how do I convince him he's...............everything to us?