Deep Breath, Once Again........

I'm laughing, ruefully, but I'm laughing.  My Aunt Deb, tough as a piece of boot leather, has small cell carcinoma.  Lung cancer with an 8% chance of survival.  She's almost 70 and has been smoking since she was 13.  Intellectually, not a shock.  Emotionally.............well.............hang on, I'm slightly hyperventilating......

 

I'm taking deep breaths as I..................suck this up.  Hell, I'm a good Buttercup.  My job now is to...blink.  Blank stare.  My job is to..............................do anything and everything I can for her, my cousins who, like me, love this old harridan.  :) My job is to make this easier, in some way, I'm not sure how, but I'll figure it out, I will.

 

Shit.  Slight panic moment.  Deep breath.  Blink.  Blank stare. 

 

I've got this.  I do.  I've got this.  I love them.  Love is to put yourself aside and care for another.  I just wish I could........................do it for them.  Most of the people, including me went a bit nuts when my mom died in 2001.  I was left alone as everyone focused on themselves and their loss.  I don't want any of them to EVER feel alone on this one.  I want to.........protect them from something I cannot.  But, my goal is to take care of them.  That's good enough, right?

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Comments (18)

  1. RRoe

    hugs. Good caring thoughts from you. Hugs.

    June 15, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      Thanks. I can do this in life, too.

      June 16, 2017
  2. Bettymom

    Yes, it’s more than good enough. You’re right, you can do this, but a little wish for luck can’t hurt.

    June 15, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      Heck, grin…….I’d never turn down good wishes or prayers or whatever passes for hope in life.

      June 16, 2017
      1. Bettymom

        Why waste a perfectly good dollop of hope, I say?

        June 16, 2017
        1. GoldenPig2012

          Exactly!!!

          June 18, 2017
  3. SEC

    Get a grip girl, you’ve got this

    June 15, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      Honey, if I didn’t have “a grip”, I’d be dead by now.

      June 16, 2017
  4. Munkyman

    get her some pot.

    June 15, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      Kinda sure she already has some.

      June 16, 2017
      1. Munkyman

        good.

        June 16, 2017
  5. formerlyme

    Sad to hear this news, Golden. You can give emotional support to Aunt Deb and your cousins, by phone, mail, or facebook. However, you can’t make it all better for them, or change what lies ahead. Nobody can! Your main responsibility is to your husband, youngest child, and yourself too. Don’t take on more than you can handle.

    June 15, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      We never know how much we can do unless we try.

      June 16, 2017
      1. formerlyme

        That’s true! I know you have a good heart. I’m concerned that you not burn yourself out.

        June 16, 2017
        1. GoldenPig2012

          Well, chuckle…………nothin’ like going out in style!

          June 16, 2017
          1. formerlyme

            Oh, you always have a comeback!

            June 17, 2017
            1. GoldenPig2012

              ha ha ha ha………….pretty sure I’ll die talkin’.

              June 18, 2017
            2. GoldenPig2012

              No, not always.

              June 19, 2017