Deep Breath, Kind of...............Tired

I'm tired.  I'm, sigh, worn out.  small chuckle...............Just....................TIRED.  Yeah, I know I am................confrontational and argumentative and NOT a good person by, pretty much, any standard.  I know.  I KNOW.  But, I HAVE to try to love, to help, to care, to....................make sure someone, anyone knows they MATTER, they are HEARD.  It is.....................sigh..................what I was given from those who came before me.  So...............chuckle............I just.............try to DO THAT.

I'm not good at it, I know, but I TRY.  My mother was AWESOME at it, no one hated her.  As her only child, there are expectations and I keep failing to meet them.  But, chuckle, she did what needed to be done in order to care for the ones she loved and that included the world at large...........so, I won't stop.  I will keep trying and fuck you if you don't like that, not something my mother ever would have said or felt.  She loved me and I don't need any other person to do it, too, in order to be me.  She was enough and, by God, I will, hopefully, be enough for somebody else.

To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (4)

  1. fab50life

    I believe there is good in all of us. For some it comes naturally and others we have to work at it. Either way its all good as you know we can’t please everyone but who’s trying. Who determines if you are a good person anyone?? Is it by the way we act, the things we have done and said, or maybe the way we look. Who really cares?? Just food for thought.

    March 27, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      Thank you for the reminder. I gave up giving a shit about what others think a long time ago. But, those old lessons we learned as a child still echo in my head.

      March 29, 2017
  2. Bettymom

    Okay, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you, woman are the best of the best. You can be good and kind when called for, but you don’t back down when someone gives you shit, either. That’s the best of all possible worlds and you are the reigning monarch. (I was going to say “queen” but like monarch better.)

    March 28, 2017
    1. GoldenPig2012

      Hmph. Well, we’ll see. All I can do is be me. Not pretty, but effective. Lord, chuckle, I hope it’s more effective for good than bad. My mom made it look easy. But, as far as I can tell, my kids think what I do and say is “easy” for me, too, so………………….I’m doing my job. I’ll do the hard, ugly stuff if it means the ones I love don’t have to. I’ll gladly be the bad guy if someone else doesn’t have to. That’s my job.

      I like monarch better, too.

      March 29, 2017